June 27, 2018 TIME IN A BOTTLE

Time. It's something I think about often. I guess the older I get--the more I appreciate time. I'm no longer willing to waste it. I've become more selfish with it because I finally realize that time comes with NO money back guarantee--can't buy more or extend the policy--so there's no sense wasting it doing something--I DON'T WANT TO DO. When I was younger--I had a hard time saying NO--and then I would be angry with myself because I was DOING SOMETHING I DIDN'T WANT TO DO--A-G-A-I-N. Thankfully--I've gotten much better at just saying NO--and let go of that STUPID GUILT I used to feel when I said NO. Guilt--IS JUST ANOTHER WASTE OF TIME.  It's just negative energy that messes with your mind and keeps you from appreciating time and spending it wisely. NOW--My definition of spending time wisely would obviously include-- READ A LOT OF BOOKS--especially the one I just finished and LOVED called Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo.

Set in Lagos, Nigeria, Yejide and Akin fell in love and married while attending university.  Akin is expected to take many wives and have several sons, however, they have decided to have a monogamous marriage. Unfortunately, after 4 years of marriage and a host of visits to fertility doctors and healers, Yejide is still not pregnant. Due to mounting pressure from his family, Akin reluctantly agrees to take a second wife leaving Yejide feeling betrayed. Yejide and Akin realize that the only way to save their marriage is to get pregnant. Begging the question-- how far are they willing to go to get Yejide pregnant??  How much should they have to sacrifice for the sake of family and tradition? This incredible story is told in first person and alternatives between the voices of Yejide and Akin as they tell the story of their marriage in the wake of political unrest in Lagos. Ultimately, this is a story about infertility, loneliness and how they both attempt to save their marriage but somehow almost tear it apart. This  book is so powerful and disturbing that I could hardly put it down and it is still lingering in the back of your mind. It's been 3 or 4 days and I haven't been able to start another book--seriously. I'm hoping that by writing about it, I can finally let it go and move on to my next book. It's about 260 pages --or a 3.5 mile run--that should be moved to the top of your summer reading list!

June 23, 2018 THE BARE NECESSITIES

Healthy and Happy-- That's what I say whenever I'm asked about my family--because those are the only things that TRULY matter.  As long as they are healthy and relatively happy I can breathe a sigh of relief. By healthy--I don't just mean physical health-- also mental health. Far too many people are suffering the debilitating effects of mental illness today.  Just take a look at Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Two people who seemingly had it all together. Stars in their own right with children and plenty of money.  Both SEEMED to have it all but something was STILL MISSING. Many believe that money solves everything--NO WAY. Money can't buy health or happiness.  Be thankful for your mental and physical health today. Don't take it for granted--if you see someone struggling--BE KIND--OFFER A HAND. Remember-- it's all a crapshoot--There but for the grace of God go I. 

Greer Kadetsky, one of the protagonists in Meg Wolitzer's new novel The Female Persuasion struggles to help her boyfriend when he experiences difficulty after the death of his brother by a family member. Greer and her boyfriend Cory are the brightest of the bunch. Both plan to go to ivy league schools and have a great life. Unfortunately, Greer's hippie parents haven't saved a dime so she's off to a second rate school in Connecticut called Ryland. There, she meets Zee--a lesbian ultra feminist who takes Greer to an event on campus where she meets Faith Frank--a famous champion of the Women's Rights Movement since the 1960's. After college, Cory goes to seek his fortune while Greer gets a job working for Faith--her mentor--at a foundation that raises awareness of women's issue. While working at the foundation, Greer must come to terms with many issues including her own betrayal of her friend Zee and the untimely death of Cory's little brother. Wolitzer weaves a well written story  by alternating the voices of Greer, Zee, Cory and Faith where we learn lessons about loyalty, influence, power, betrayal, ambition as well as the history and status of  women's rights today. This novel is about 460 pages --or a 6 mile run-- that explores many themes that a relevant today.

June 19, 2018 SHE'S A MAN EATER

New London Mall. 1981. On my sixteenth birthday--I walked into Papa Gino's--filled out an application--got my first official job. At that time THE NEW LONDON MALL WAS IT. There was NO Crystal Mall--YET. They had Orange Julius, Pepperidge Farm, The Paperback Booksmith, Hallmark, London Luggage, Tobacco Village, David's Hair International, D & L, Two Guys, Thom McAn --and an ESCALATOR AT THE OUTLET. I would go there JUST to ride the escalator--AND visit THE TALKING CHRISTMAS TREE!! Such great memories. I loved working at Papa Gino's--and learned SO many valuable things--cleaning grease traps, making dough, running a grill and MAKING PIZZAS. I  can vividly remember standing at the pizza station with my boss Lisa making pizzas from 5-9 every Friday night with Hall & Oates blaring on the Jukebox. It was CRAZY BUSY--slaving over a 500 degree oven for $3.35 an hour.  I will BE FOREVER grateful to Lisa for everything she did for me. In addition to hiring me, she taught me to be responsible and take pride in my work. She treated her employees as family and hosted several picnics for us every summer. The most important thing she did for me though sounds crazy. She ACTUALLY co-signed my first car loan. She trusted me and knew I wouldn't let her down. Thanks for giving me a chance all those years ago. 

 Erika, one of the main characters in Liane Moriarty's novel Truly Madly Guilty is feeling grateful too for her friendship with Clementine until tragedy threatens their childhood bond. As this story unfolds, Three seemingly happy families gather for a last minute barbecue in an Australian suburb. Erika and Oliver are the childless, successful couple who live next door to Vid and Tiffany. Vid is a big personality who loves a party. On a whim, he invites Erika and Oliver over for a cookout. They agree to come after Vid includes their other friends Sam and Clementine and two young daughters. The premise of the story is that  something happens at the cookout that leaves each family struggling. Their feelings are a complicated mess between guilt,  blame and lust that threatens to break families and friendships apart. This is the story of marriage, friendship, guilt, parenthood and how some seemingly innocent event  changed the landscape of their lives forever. I enjoyed this book but thought it was a little too long. I had to keep reading though because I had to find out what happened at the cookout that changed each family so drastically. I did enjoy the book and think you will too. It's about 540 pages--or a 5-6 mile run--that you will have to finish to fully understand and appreciate. Enjoy!

June 11, 2018 PROBLEM CHILD

Why do our kids make THEIR problems--OUR problems?? How did this happen?? Why me?? Don't they know I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.  Kids today are CLUELESS. They can't DO ANYTHING FOR THEMSELVES--and it's OUR FAULT. We DID/DO TOO MUCH FOR THEM. God forbid they should be UNHAPPY or STRESSED for a whole second!! I'm telling you this from EXPERIENCE. Whenever  one my "adult-aged kids" has any TEENY-- TINY problem or feels the least bit STRESSED--it SOMEHOW becomes my problem.  I've tried  to hide BEHIND books--go on EVEN longer runs--even "forget" to charge my cell. BUT THEY STILL FIND ME. They have some special DRIVE YOUR MOTHER INSANE RADAR. They're DETERMINED to get me involved--Stress me out--make me anxious--infuriate me. WHY?? WILL THEY EVER LEARN?? WILL I EVER LEARN?? It's too late for me. BUT--if you're a parent of the next generation--HEED MY ADVICE--DO NOTHING FOR YOUR KIDS. MAKE THEM FIGURE IT ALL OUT--LIKE WE HAD TO DO. I promise you--THEY'LL BE BETTER FOR IT and SO WILL YOU.

One way I've learned to cope with annoying children is to escape in a funny book--so that's what I did in Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher.  The main character in this epistolary style novel is Jason Fitger, a professor of creative writing and literature at a small college in the Midwest. Jason is a middle aged, disillusioned professor with serious "women problems" who lets loose in the endless letters he is called upon to write for students and colleagues. His recommendations/letters are brutally honest, passive aggressive and laugh out-loud funny as he not only writes recommendations, but also somehow recounts his once promising career,  romantic life which is a disaster, and the budget cuts that continue to eat away at his department.  He has really hit rock bottom-- as seen in his hysterically crazy letters. So,  if you're looking for a good laugh than you should give this novel of 192 pages a try. It's an easy read--about a 2.5 miles. I will leave you with another word of advice: DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IN A QUIET, STAID ENVIRONMENT UNLESS YOU WANT TO MAKE A SCENE.

June 7, 2018 WASTED TIME

If you're a teacher than you already know--the BEST day of the year is ALWAYS--the SUNDAY when you know you don't have to go to work ON MONDAY. Yup--can't believe I  made it through another school year. NINETEEN YEARS--guess I'll stick around for a few more--if they'll have me. I feel badly for all the TEACHERS & STUDENTS STILL in school though. TEACHERS are literally BABYSITTING at this point.  Seriously folks--you're kidding yourself if you think there's any REAL LEARNING GOING ON. The downhill started after APRIL VACATION. NOT KIDDING. The kids have seen every SHOW a hundred times and they are AS SICK OF YOU AS.......(fill in the blank) Snow days--SHMO DAYS--let it go. FREE ERIC--I MEAN free those poor HAPLESS souls/teachers.  They probably can't even string a decent sentence together at this point. They've HIT rock bottom--CAN'T even pretend to be NICE anymore. YUP--Bribing the kids with--candy--extra recess--WHATEVER IT TAKES--to make it through the day. That's what I'd do (have done) --it's survival of the fittest.

It was definitely survival of the fittest for the Mather twins after Conrad Lowe came to town in Jincy Willett's satirical novel Winner of the National Book Award. First of all, I must confess that I picked this book up because I thought it was a National Book Award winner and only realized that that was the title of the book after I got home. So glad I found it though. One of the fun things about this book is that it's set in Rhode Island so you will immediately recognize all the sites. This darkly comic novel is the story of twins--opposite in every way. Abigail is a promiscuous mail carrier and her sister is a virginal librarian. After the two befriend National Book Award winner Guy DeVilbiss and his wife, they are introduced to Conrad Lowe. Lowe is also a writer and a bit of a psychopath. Lowe becomes obsessed with Dorcas who refuses his advances so he settles on Abigail.  This is where the trouble begins. The characters  are unique, quirky, and deeply flawed, but so much fun. Willett's writing is spot on about Yankee pretension and what's it like to be a New Englander. This book sort of reminds me of A Confederacy of Dunces--so if you liked that-- you will definitely enjoy this book. It's about 340 pages--5 mile run--that will have you laughing out-loud and deeply disturbed.

June 2, 2018 AIN'T NO WAY

Can't believe my firstborn turned 24! When I think back--24 LONG YEARS AGO--I have to admit THAT my first year as a MOTHER was EXTREMELY HARD. No one ever tells you what it's like to be a new mother--it's something you just have to experience for yourself. The SLEEPLESS nights, questions, worry. WHY This??? Why That?? OMG--not sure how I survived that first year--I felt lost, confused and isolated. I walked around in a purple-funk on pins and needles for a whole year. I heard crying in the shower, in my dreams--everywhere. Wish I'd had some help, relief, guidance but that's the way the ball bounces. I survived with only a few scars. Whenever I see a new mother though-- I SO FEEL FOR HER. I want to send her a sympathy card! Let her know it's all gonna be okay. SERIOUSLY.  Needless to say-- I got over it and went on to have two more lovely children. By the time #3 came around-- I WAS A PRO! 

Spent yesterday binge reading Sarah Pinborough's novel Behind Her Eyes. I couldn't put it down. It had so many twists and turns--I couldn't for the life of me figure out who the bad guy was until the BITTER END. And then I was left shaking my head--REALLY.  I 'm still upset about it today. You will either love or hate the ending but it's worth the read. Anyways, this mind bender is set in London. Louise, the main character, is a single mom and secretary to a group of psychiatrists. One night when her son is visiting his dad, Louise decides to meet a friend for drinks. Instead, she meets a man named David and sparks fly.  Fast forward to Monday at work-- David turns out to be her very married new boss. Awkward. To make matters more complicated, Louise virtually bangs into a new woman in town, Adele, who happens to be David's beautiful wife. Louise and Adele become fast friends while Louise and David carry on an affair. I know--CRAZY.  This turns into a love triangle gone bad and Louise is the pawn. This psychological thriller is about 300 pages--or a 3.5 mile run--can't wait to talk about the ending with you.