January 18, 2016 HINDSIGHT'S TWENTY-TWENTY 1982

Today, I'm running away in a different sense. From a reality that's hard  to face. The sad fact is-- I ACTUALLY HAVE VERY LITTLE CONTROL.  When my kids were little though--I deluded myself into thinking I did. Sure, they were with me every waking hour, so in a sense I had control--albeit, over little things. It comforted me, though, to believe I was in control. Knowing everyone was safely in bed--had a bath--went to school--three meals a day-- kept my anxiety at bay. Everyone was safe and sound. Over the years--things have changed. Two of my kids have grown up-- and I've had to drop the illusion. I really don't have control--I really can't protect them.  I'm not SUPER MOM to them anymore. I can tell by the way they look at me that they have figured out I'm  just a person--flawed in many ways.  I really can't solve their problems or kiss their hurts away AND that gives me anxiety. It's hard to let go even though I REALLY NEED TO AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WANT TO. We think it's hard when our kids are young, but it's only hard physically--that's a piece of cake compared to the mental and emotional stress when they are older. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have enjoyed my little ones more. I wouldn't have taken things so seriously.  That's the funny thing about life--maybe we should live it backward-- that way  we wouldn't  have to see everything in hindsight.  F. Scott Fitzgerald actually wrote a novella in 1922 called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button that explores this idea.

 Benjamin Button is born in 1860 in Baltimore to a very excited couple--Mr. & Mrs. Roger Button. They are thrilled beyond words until they learn that their baby boy is actually a 70 year old man capable of speech. Poor Benjamin, all wrinkles and worn, is quickly whisked away from the hospital to live with his family who never acknowledges his difference. At the age of 5--Benjamin is actually 65 and prefers the company of his grandfather to the play dates his father makes for him with neighborhood children. As the years roll by, Benjamin accepts his life--he goes to war, takes over his father's business, falls in love and even has children. Remember though--as Benjamin gets younger, everyone else gets older including his wife who is eventually 50 when her husband is 20 and starts to pal around with his own son, Roscoe.  Find out what ultimately happens to Benjamin and his family when you read this great story that was made into a movie about 10 years ago. It's not a huge commitment either--at about 60 pages or a 2 mile run--you will laugh out loud on one page and be moved to tears by Fitzgerald's wonderful writing on the next. Enjoy!

January 17, 2017 AIN'T NO STOPPIN' US NOW

It's a vicious cycle. Eat-drink-run-drink-run-eat-run-eat-drink. What a world-What a world. That's the problem with running--because I run-I eat more which some times leads to a cocktail or two, but there's no way for me to get  off this crazy treadmill I've created, especially, on the weekend before my birthday weekend. Not sure how the birthday weekend extended into two weekends this year--hence, why I need  the 1000 Mile Challenge.  I did get some good runs in this weekend even though it was REALLY cold--it snowed and the streets were covered in black ice on Sunday. That was a scary run, but I'm determined to get those runs in.  My goal is to run 20 miles a week and as of today, I've run 48 tough miles this month. It's not easy--besides the weather-- I'm really tired on the weekends.  I literally have to drag myself out of bed by 7:50 am  to hit the road by 8:30 am when all I really want to do is sleep. As much as I hate getting up early, I never regret it and count myself lucky that I am so resolute. It's innate. Thankfully, these personality traits have helped  me through many difficult years--and they will undoubtably help me meet this challenge too.

The main character in Colm Toibin's wonderful novel Brooklyn also faces many hardships with great fortitude as an immigrant to the United States from Ireland in the 1950's.   Eilis Lacey is a young woman living with her mother and sister Rose in an Ireland with no future. Her sister Rose organizes a meeting between Eilis and a Catholic priest named Father Flood who arranges passage and a future for Eilis in New York City. Upon arriving in the city, Eilis works at a department store, lives in a boardinghouse and goes to night school. Although she is thankful for this opportunity, Eilis is extremely homesick for Ireland, family and friends until she meets an Italian plumber named Tony.  They fall in love and just as she is finally settling into her life in America, Eilis learns that her sister has died and she must return to Ireland for the funeral.  Before setting off to Ireland though, Eilis and Tony secretly marry. Back in Ireland, Eilis easily settles into her old life--meeting with friends and caring for her clingy mother who wants her to stay in Ireland and marry her old flame Jim. Eilis feels torn between her old life in Ireland and her new life in America. Find out what ultimately happens when you read this wonderful love story that was made into a movie a few years ago.  It's about 260 pages or a 5 mile run that is beautifully written--it will definitely pull at your heart strings!
Enjoy.

January 13, 2017 TAKE A LOAD OFF ANNIE

So thankful it's Friday and I'm home from work. The day literally CRAWLED by--I hate when that happens. It's kind of like a bad run that just won't end. So thankful too that I don't run on Fridays because  I feel mentally and physically drained. My week is a whirlwind of activity that just won't stop. By Friday my brain feels like it can't possibly process one more piece of information or it will blow up. My head feels like its spinning and my ears actually hurt from all the noise they've had to endure all week. Every part of me is screaming leave me alone. This must all have to do with getting older because I'm pretty sure I had more energy when I was younger. I VAGUELY remember going to happy hour every Friday night and thinking nothing of it-- every Friday--I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Those were the days! What's happened to me--I USED TO BE ALL THAT. Everyone else is supposed to get older--NOT ME--oh to be young again.  Wouldn't it be interesting if we could go back and live those times again OR maybe not.  Before you make up your mind,  read Kate Atkinson's book Life After Life where the main character Ursula Todd has a problem--every time she dies she is reborn and lives her life again.
Ursula Todd has been born and reborn countless times. Her original birth is in the year 1910 to an upper-class family in England--she is stillborn. Each time she is reborn, she is born into the same loving family and she lives longer. In one version of her life, she drowns as a child, another influenza,  another she falls off a roof  and later when she lives longer, she is murdered, or commits suicide only to be reborn again. With each birth, she relives the same life-- except her interactions change and her decisions change-- which effect the outcome of each life. In one version she's married to an abusive man, in another she is in love with a German soldier, in yet another, a married man. The reader is continually looped back in time for another version of Ursula's life. The interesting thing is that Ursula has deja vu at times and some of the memories of her past lives seep into her present life. She eventually uses that knowledge to change the future, most importantly,  history--when she tries to kill Hitler in 1930. Find out what ultimately happens to Ursula-- does she succeed in killing Hitler--does she do anything else to alter to future--does she finally find a way to die?  Read  this great book yourself to find the answer to these questions and many more.  It is a bit of a commitment though--about 550 pages or a 6 mile run that is worth the read. Enjoy!

January 10, 2016 MODERN LOVE

TECHNOLOGY. So, I finally decided to embrace it with a running app. I've got my iPhone strapped on my arm and I look official. The music is synced and-- BIG BROTHER--is keeping me posted on my mileage/speed/altitude every 5 minutes.  Next thing I know, my iPhone has stopped working. That's weird right? So I ask my comrade to check her iPhone. DEAD. Who knew iPhones were temperature sensitive--IT WAS TOO COLD SO THEY FROZE. So much for the running app if it only works some of the time--AND it was a serious bummer to run in the frigid weather without music. iPhones are wimps!  Good thing I still have my CLASSIC iPod from 2004--that thing has been through rain storms, extreme heat,  and frigid weather to boot--it takes a lickin' and keeps on ticking--it's amazing. So I'm back to manually entering my miles for the 1000 Mile Challenge--good thing I learned how to add during the Stone Ages. What would the millennials do in this crisis? They wouldn't have "Siri" to ask if she were frozen---I guess they'd have to start talking to us again. All this talk about technology made me think of Aziz Ansari's book Modern Romance which investigates the changes and challenges of finding love in the twenty-first century.

First of all, Ansari is a comedian--starring in Parks and Recreation--who happened to write an interesting, and  funny book--with the help of an NYU sociologist.  He wanted to find out how the game of love has changed because of technology. Research was conducted, hundreds were interviewed, focus groups from around the world gathered to answer the question--WHAT IS THIS NEW WORLD OF ROMANCE??   First, Ansari takes us back to a simpler time--people married young--many times to a neighbor or someone from their local church. Today, potential suitors are overwhelmed with options as they have the ability to connect with  people from around the globe. People are waiting later to marry and "sorting" through their "options" like they change their underwear while on the quest to find the perfect "soul mate."  The language of love has also changed. No more love letters or face to face interaction with the occasional sonnet being recited.  It's all emojis, snap chatting and text messaging--it's like learning a foreign language. So, if you're looking for love in all the wrong places, take a look at this book as it just might help you navigate and find your love connection. It's about 280 pages or a 4 mile run that will leave you laughing, shaking your head and being thankful for what you have.

January 8, 2016 CHAIN OF FOOLS

First extremely cold weekend this winter--on Saturday it was 22 degrees with a NORTH wind that made if feel like 10. NO SUN. That was long johns, heavy coat, scarf and hat weather. Hard  to run in, but doable with a comrade--EVEN THOUGH--we did contemplate the gym for a whole 2 seconds before deciding we'd rather face the elements.  Woke up to about 7 inches of snow this morning--the sun was shining but it was a frigid 15 degrees. Believe it or not, it actually felt warmer than Saturday because the sun was out. I love the sun and actually feel so much better when I get to bask in its rays. That's what makes winter tough for me. NOT ENOUGH SUN. I don't mind running in the winter but it's an entirely different animal.  Instead of melting in the relentless heat of summer-- runners have to face a cold without a heart--with whipping winds to boot. Must be crazy to put up with these extremes right??  The weird thing is that I  loved both runs this weekend--the cold, wind, clouds, sun--it was exhilarating. Being able to run in this kind of weather is a gift that I appreciate. It is definitely a mindset OR maybe I'm just a fool-- hey, I've been talked into worse things in my life.  This all makes me think of Harlan Coben's book Fool me Once because the main character in that book is definitely not a fool. First off, Coben's books are definitely "formula" books but they are  fun to read. Don't get wrapped up  in character development..yada yada..he's not that kind of writer. He writes fun, suspenseful, plot driven stories and has sold millions of books--so go with it. I went through a Coben phase one summer and got my fill. This is the first one I've read in quite awhile and I really enjoyed it.

Maya is a former special ops pilot--disgraced for ordering a defensive airstrike that inadvertently killed five civilians. She has returned home to her two year old daughter and husband Joe only to have him brutally murdered during a mugging in Central Park. Maya decides to hire a nanny  when she goes back to work and installs a nanny cam to keep an eye on her daughter. After work one day, she decides to watch the cam and sees footage of her husband playing with her daughter???  She can't believe her eyes--Isn't he supposed to be dead??  Maya ultimately decides to start her own investigation of not only her husband's murder, but also her sister's murder a few years  earlier after NYPD Detective Kierce shares some startling news. They were both murdered by the same gun. What really happened to Maya's sister Claire, her husband Joe.......and his brother who was brutally murdered ten years earlier. Find out when you pick up this easy to read, suspense filled novel of about 460 pages. That might sound like a lot of pages but his books are serious page turners so it's really only about a 4 mile run that will leave you wanting more.

January 5, 2017 DON'T THINK I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT

This might sound crazy  but I've been running for almost twenty years and have never worn a watch to track my splits/time/mileage. Don't worry--that's all changed with the new year. I have decided to try something new to stay on the straight and narrow--THE RUNKEEPER APP.  It keeps track of everything including--but not limited to --tracking my runs--personal bests--running courses--altitude--music--you name it.  If it can figure out how to keep me hydrated, I'm all in.  Seriously though, I like it but find it a bit stressful--like I'm racing against a machine. Every five minutes this VOICE updates me on my progress so I feel like I have to move faster--No more lallygagging for this gal. It's all business from now on. SURE THING. I've learned one thing for certain though--it's making me more accountable. It's also shedding new light and helping me rethink my game-- I didn't realize that my first mile was at least two minutes slower than my last mile--a glaring problem-- especially when running a race. Not sure how to fix that but it's food for thought. Anyways, on to other things that plague my mind including the book I just finished reading called I'm thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid.

First of all, I guess I keep thinking about this book because I didn't get the ending at first.  I hate when that happens. So, I spent some time rereading it and when I finally got it, I'm not sure how I felt.  I loved it for the most part and had trouble putting it down. I had to know what was going to happen. Reid's debut novel is told by an unnamed narrator who is dating a guy named Jake. They've been dating a few months and she has reluctantly agreed to meet his parents even though she's secretly thinking of ending it. During the drive, the narrator has several weird flash backs and constant phone calls from an unknown person. The road trip turns even creepier when the couple arrive home to meet the family. Find out what ultimately happens when you read this hard to put down modern, gothic novel. I am definitely interested to know what you think when you finish reading the last page. It's an easy read of about 200 pages--only a 3 mile run--that I read in one afternoon. Like I said before, I couldn't put it down and I'm still thinking about it. Enjoy!

January 3, 2017 LEAN ON ME

The Hayden Keating Fun Run and Plunge is a great way to start the new year. This run is dear to my heart because it is a wonderful way to remember a special boy who was obviously dear to  many people. People gather--young and old--at the Soldiers and Sailors Monument in downtown New London at 12:00 p.m. They either walk or run to Guthrie Beach where dozens jump into the frigid water. They actually hold hands--form a link--count to three and charge in--to honor Hayden.  I do the run and enjoy watching the plunge but --I know my limitations--my heart would probably stop! The plungers are then met with towels, hot chocolate and even champagne as a way to celebrate Hayden's life. It's a community coming together to share not only sadness but the joy of having the privilege of knowing Hayden and his family.   It really is a wonderful experience--a curious mix of  sadness and joy--people reminiscing--sharing stories of yesterday--it's also sad because he is no longer here. He would be a freshman in high school now--that's the hard part. We didn't get to watch him grow up.  We are left to wonder, reflect, remember and honor him in the best way we can. It really takes a village. This idea of people helping people reminds of a truly inspirational story I read a few years ago by Markus Zusak called The Book Thief.

Set in Germany during World War II and narrated by Death, the main character, Liesel Leminger, is a sad orphan on her way to live with a foster family in Munich. Liesel develops a close relationship with her foster father Hans, who plays the accordion and teaches her to read. After learning to read, Liesel becomes the book thief--stealing books from bonfires and mansions. Books rescue her from the grim reality of war torn Germany. She then reads these books aloud to neighbors during bomb raids and later to a Jewish man named Max hiding from the Nazis in the Hubermann's basement. Find out what ultimately happens to Liesel, Max, and the Hubermann family when you read this excellent novel that was recently made into a movie. This is an easy read of about 450 pages or a 5 mile run--that will stick with you--and teach you the value of friendship and caring for our fellow man.