March 28, 2019 THURSDAY'S CHILD

Thursday should REALLY be the new Friday. Seriously. By Thursday--I'm exhausted and shaking my head. How the HELL am I  gonna get through Friday??? This teaching gig is definitely NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.  It's a serious WORKOUT for the BRAIN--BLADDER--KIDNEYS-and I'm NOT getting any younger.  Every day is like a race. I get to work and the  bell rings at 7:44.  I'm in DENIAL because I can't believe I'm racing/teaching again. I move on to ACCEPTANCE--then encounter-- hurdles--hills--herds of students--EVERY 45 MINUTES. I get thirsty but don't have time to stop at the water table--FORGET the bathroom--there are only 3 MINUTES between classes--trying to PR.  Ever run a long race with someone WHO WON'T STOP TALKING??  That's me AT SCHOOL. I blabber--prattle--gibber--babble until my vocal cords ache. YUP. What's that up ahead??  A light at the end of the tunnel. I've made it to lunch and realize--the race will SOON be over. ONLY FIVE MORE MILES--I CAN DO THIS. My brains gonna explode and my bladder's gonna burst by the time I cross the finish line but that's OK--I've waited this long. I high five my buddies--And do it ALL AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. Sounds crazy don't it?? Living in the Queensland, Australia, on a cattle ranch sounds a little crazy to me but it's all the Bright brothers know in Jane Harper's new book The Lost Man. 
Nathan, Bub and Cameron Bright have lived in the remote outback their entire lives. They know the landscape and the dangers involved in living in such a formidable place. So when Cam is found dead the remaining brothers are suspicious. Odder even is that Cam is found next to the stockman's grave, a local landmark and resting place of another man who died under mysterious circumstances. Did Cam commit suicide or is foul play involved? In an area where your closest neighbors are 3 hours away, the suspects are few and they include mostly family. Nathan wrestles with these thoughts and many more as he tries to figure out what happened to Cam, the brother everyone liked. While conducting his own investigation, Nathan is forced to face his own mistakes and his family's secrets which ultimately help Nathan understand what really happened to Cam. Harper's writing is incredible. I actually felt the unrelenting sun, tasted the red  dirt in my teeth and felt parched while reading this book. This is a great mystery--I didn't figure it out until the very end. If you like a good mystery please give this book a try. It's 350 pages or a 4 mile run that I was sad to finish. 

March 20, 2019 I'M ONLY HUMAN

Mistakes. We all make them. We're only human. They're a necessary evil. If we didn't make mistakes--we wouldn't learn any lessons right?? That's all well and good BUT there are different LEVELS of mistakes and SOME hurt a HELL of a lot more than others. Kind of like Dante's Circles of Hell. The level ONE mistakes are MERE fluff in comparison to LEVEL 9. WHOA-- level 9 are the BIGGIES. The scary ones. The LAPSES IN JUDGMENT--we never forget. If ONLY we could take them back-- Can't remember how many times I've thought that. These are the mistakes THAT stay with us forever. They are literally SCARS. OUCH. I have a few of those--Okay-- a few more than a few. Believe it or not--these are the IMPORTANT MISTAKES. These are the ones that BUILD CHARACTER.  They  bring us to a crossroad WHERE we have to decide WHOM WE WANT TO BE. My advice--Pull yourself up by your bootstraps--take a look in the mirror--and forgive yourself. Learn the lesson--take responsibility-- move on. In the SCHEME of life--this is just a SMALL hill. Climb it--slide down--begin again--SMILE.  Maurice Hannigan, the main character in Anne Griffin's debut When All is Said has made many mistakes over his long life too.
Set in Rainsford County, Ireland, Maurice Hannigan has decided he's lived long enough. But before he ends his life, he  wants to toast five people. These are the people who were an important part of his eighty-four years on Earth.  He decides to go to the local pub to toast each and it is here that he reflects back on his life. Through the toasts, we learn  about Maurice's life. Each chapter is dedicated to those he holds dearest in his heart. They include a brother who died of TB when Maurice was twelve, his dead wife, sister-in-law, stillborn daughter Molly and son--the only living member of the group. The story is second person as Maurice is addressing his son throughout the novel. He wants to make sure all his loose ends are tied up and that his son understands his life, the decisions he's made and the people who helped shape his life. This is a wonderful story that is at times funny, but also heartbreaking too as we will all be where Maurice is one day. This 330 page book is about a 3 mile run that packs a punch.

March 14, 2019 SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD

Pedicures. Manicures. Not sure why but they've NEVER been my thing. My fingernails are always a mess and I actually bury my toes in the sand at the beach because my feet are so YUK. I can't stand to look at them AND I'm too embarrassed for anyone else to look at them either-- let alone soak--scrub--clip or file THEM. DISGUSTING. I've NEVER had a massage either--that is until the other day. I have a THING about people touching me if I don't know them. YUP. I'VE GOT A LOT OF ISSUES. Lucky for me--one of my yoga teachers is a massage therapist. SO--I took the LEAP and scheduled a Thai Deep Tissue Massage EVEN THOUGH I didn't  have ANY idea what that meant. She literally spent 2 HOURS pressing and kneading EVERY MUSCLE in my body. She stretched--poked--prodded me from head to toe-- to improve my circulation--increase my joint mobility because I'm about as flexible as the TIN MAN--and relieve the chronic pain in my hamstring. After my massage, I felt as light as a feather. Seriously. I still feel all stretched out and SO much more flexible too. Kudos Kim--can't wait to do it again. Only wish I could feel this good about my feet!
Just finished Lisa Genova's new book Every Note Played where sadly one of the main characters is diagnosed with ALS and only wishes he could feel his feet. Richard Evan's is a 45 year old famous concert pianist who has just been diagnosed with ALS. He is in denial and feels alone in the world as he and his wife of  20 years have recently divorced. Karina, his ex-wife,  is an equally talented pianist who originally moved to America from Poland to study piano but fell in love with Richard instead. Richard and Karina eventually marry, have a daughter named Grace, and Karina puts her career on hold as Richard tours the country, and sacrifices his family for the love of his piano. After Karina hears that Richard has ALS from a mutual friend, she is torn because Richard was her husband for twenty years and is still Grace's father. This is a well written, researched look at the grim reality of ALS. It's about flawed characters, regret and forgiveness too. What makes this book so good is that Lisa Genova is a Dr. of Neuroscience who specializes in diseases and disorders of the brain and although this is a work of fiction, Genova deftly spells out the cruelty and unfairness of this frightening disease that has taken too many lives. This book is about 320 pages--3.5 mile run--worth every minute.

March 4, 2019 CRAZY ABC'S

Alphabetarian. Logophile. Abecedarian. Logomaniac. The English language. What fun. I can reinvent myself EVERY day. On Mondays I'll be an Alphabetarian--ONE WHO STUDIES THE ALPHABET. On Tuesdays a Logophile--A LOVER OF WORDS. On Wednesdays an Abecedarin--WHERE I'LL REFINE MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE ALPHABET. By Thursday I'll be ready to be a LOGOMANIAC. I'm already a maniac so its not TOO big of a stretch to be ONE WHO IS OBSESSED WITH WORDS. Now if I were only able to write a PANGRAM--a sentence or phrase that includes all of the letters of the alphabet--I'd be at the PINNACLE--APEX--ACME--SUMMIT--OKAY-- the top of my game. Why am I wasting my time writing about all these crazy words?? Because they will make reading Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn EVEN MORE FUN. Please--STOP-- RIGHT--NOW.  READ  the title of the book OUT LOUD. Love it. So clever and quirky.

Here's the premise. Ella Minnow Pea lives in on a fictional Island off the coast of South Carolina named Nollop. The island is named after Nevin Nollop, the first author to write a pangram. In addition to naming the Island Nollop, there is a statue of him and his pangram in the town center. The island is also run by a council who border on Totalitarianism. One day, a letter falls from the pangram and the council believes that this is a sign from Nollop that this letter must be banned from the alphabet. It's not too hard at first because it's the letter Z, but when other letters start to fall communication becomes almost impossible. Ella, the heroine, fights against the council to free the letters to restore language. This hilarious novel is also a satire. It's an example of how crazy our world can become when idiotic people are in power (HHHHMMMM). Find out what happens to Ella, the island of  Nollop and the English language when you read this 200 page--2.5 mile run-- for yourself.  I loved every minute of this book AND although it was written in 2001, it is perhaps  more relevant today than in 2001. ENJOY!

March 3, 2019 LET IT SNOW

Snow--Glorious--Snow. Why has THOU failed me?? Snowing on a Friday night?? How is that helpful?? Every TEACHER and STUDENT out there is shaking their head!! Thought it was clear by now.  We ONLY want you to fall DURING THE WEEK. We need DELAYS and SNOW DAYS--DAMN-IT. The winter months are LONG--INTERMINABLE--TEDIOUS. We're doing HARD time in a GERM cesspool. EVERYONE is HACKING and SNEEZING. Garbage cans are filled to the rim with KLEENEX--quite frankly-- it's a fire hazard.  We need relief. We need rest. We need a break. That's where you come in. Don't  you  to realize how much we rely on you?? Need you?? Okay. You have a chance to make amends. YUP--there's a WINTER STORM WARNING TONIGHT. All you have to do is SNOW enough for at LEAST a delay. I'd prefer a SNOW DAY but I don't want to seem GREEDY. Oh snow--How do I love Thee?? Let it me count the flakes.

 Could have used a snow day last week because I had to really hunker down to finish Markus Zusak's new book Bridge of Clay.  I'm pretty sure it is set in Australia, but it is never made clear. Anyways, this is wonderful, sad story of five brothers aged ten through eighteen who live together in a ramshackle house with their five pets.  The oldest Dunbar brother, Matthew, is the narrator. We learn all about the brothers through his eyes as he is writing a book about their lives. The Dunbar boys are left to fend for themselves after their father walks out on them. It's a crazy, sad, chaotic life but the brothers make it work. After their father, whom they refer to as "The Murderer" returns, their lives are forever changed. Clay, the fourth brother, decides to leave the family to help his father build a bridge. This book is so much more than this though. It's a saga in the sense that Matthew jumps back and forth  to tell the story of not only their immediate family, but also that of their grandparents. I did find this book hard to read. The writing style is strange. I can't explain it, but I can say that I stuck with it because I'm a Zusak fan AND I'M GLAD I DID. Sometimes books are like that. When I did finish the book, I loved it. It was worth the read. I loved some of the brothers and their struggle is real. I loved their mother and father and empathized with all of them. This 600 page story--7 mile run-- is worth your time. It's a story I'll never forget.

February 22, 2019 YOU SHOULD BE HERE

Is it a woman thing? This need to make EVERY thing better? Fix things? Keep everybody happy? I'm not sure. What I'm sure of though is that I don't have SUPERPOWERS and I can't make everything OK. None of us can and that pisses me off.  Death seems to lurk behind every door these days.  And there's nothing we can do about it. If I could--I'd wish it all away and everything would be back to normal.  Instead-- loved ones are struggling--learning to live their NEW normal. What the hell is that anyways?? I don't know. None of us knows --until it happens to us. I think that's what I've been wrestling with this week. How quickly our lives CAN change AND it scares the HELL out of me. Our beautiful friend is gone. She was a mother, sister, wife, aunt, cousin.  One person who touched  many lives. Family and friends are grieving and there's not a DAMN thing any of us can do about it. Or can we? We can grieve together--be there for each other--keep her memory alive. That's what we'll do. I feel better already.
  I just finished Night of Miracles --the sequel to Elizabeth's Berg's novel The Story or Arthur Truluv and I really enjoyed it. Set in Mason, Missouri, five years after Arthur dies, Lucille is now operating a successful baking business. Because she's getting older, Lucille decides to hire part-time help--a new woman in town named Iris Winters. Lucille also has new neighbors--a family of three whose future is in jeopardy when the mother becomes ill.  There are several other quirky characters including the taxi driver Tiny, who is actually quite large, and Monica, the waitress who works at Henhouse, that he is in love with. This is the story of a small town, friendship, kindness and how a community comes together to help during a crisis. It's also about human connections--something I fear many of us are losing in our "modern world". This book is about 250 pages or an easy 3 mile jaunt through the park. This feel good book was just what the doctor ordered. Enjoy.

 

February 17, 2019 MORE THAN WORDS

I'm a GRAMMARIAN with a secret. Don't tell anyone --BUT--I've turned  into THE GRAMMAR POLICE. I can't help myself-- I'm constantly correcting  grammar. Okay--I only do it in my head right now. Give me a few years though --WHEN MY FILTER'S GONE--I'm gonna be in BIG trouble. I'll be in line at the grocery store explaining WHO and WHOM and get punched in the mouth. YUP. PPSSTT--I have another secret.  In addition to being a WICKED GRAMMARIAN--I've recently discovered that I'm also an EVIL ELOCUTIONIST. Don't laugh--this is a serious issue. Who'd have thunk--teaching the art of public speaking--would become so TWISTED.  I few weeks ago--I found myself listening to a presentation and getting hives because the woman kept--dropping her INGS. This might not seem like a big deal to a normal person--but to someone as warped as I am--EVERY DROP--was a stab in the heart. Seriously. I have MANY issues. I know there are MORE important THINGS in the world--but I'm all about SAVING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE--one ING at a time.

LookING for a good murder mystery?? Look no further than Stuart Turton's debut The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle. Here's the premise--Several distinguished guests are invited by Lord and Lady Hardcastle to Blackheath House for a Masquerade party. While at the party, Evelyn Hardcastle, daughter of the hosts, dies under mysterious circumstances. The odd thing is that Evelyn Hardcastle  dies every night at 11:00 p.m.--living the same day over and over and will continue to do so unless Aiden Bishop finds her killer. Here's the trick--He only has eight days to solve the murder and stop the cycle before it begins again. Another catch--Aiden wakes up each morning in the body of one of the eight witnesses to the murder. He keeps reliving the same day as one of the witnesses while he's searching for Evelyn's killer. Crazy. So far Aiden has been a socialite, professional gambler, banker, and butler. While inhabiting each body--he becomes that person on the outside and must deal with the good and bad of each witness too.  I'm half way through the book and can't put it down. It's like Agatha Christie meets Quantum Leap meets Groundhog Day. This 400 pager just melts away-- an 4 mile easy run. Can't wait to find out what happens next!