The dreaded colonoscopy. YUP. It's the worst thing about turning 50. I know they're a necessary EVIL but really--the indignity of it all. First of all--it DRAGS on for days. Gotta go on something called a LOW RESIDUE DIET and then-- the LIQUID DIET. Remember when you were a kid and thought JELLO was a HUGE TREAT. THINK AGAIN. Not sure if it's changed over the years--or we were just so POOR that ANY FOOD WAS GOOD FOOD. Hell--we probably considered it a fruit TOO!! Sorry--I digressed. Anyways--after almost dying of starvation it's FINALLY time to GUZZLE THE GASOLINE. Believe it or not--this is actually WORSE than sitting on the toilet for hours getting hemorrhoids. NOT KIDDING. IT'S LIKE DRINKING A GALLON OF CHERRY FLAVORED COUGH MEDICINE. I literally almost threw up. IT GETS WORSE--12 hours later--you have to drink another GALLON OF COUGH MEDICINE and SIT YOUR SORE ASS ON THE TOILET AGAIN. By the time you drag your SORRY SELF to the ROTO ROOTER FACTORY-- you don't care who see's your SAGGY ASS--you just want it over!! THE GOOD NEWS-- If ALL goes well--you REPEAT it again in 10 years. YIPPIE. Anthony Peardew, the keeper of lost things, hopes everything goes well for his assistant Laura after he leaves her his estate in Ruth Hogan's The Keeper of Lost Things. As this lovely story begins, Anthony, a famous author of short stories, knows the end is near. He is worried about his collection of lost items which are catalogued and hidden in his mansion called Padua. He has been collecting lost items for over forty years, since the tragic death of his fiancee. This collection actually saved his career as he used the lost items as a springboard for his stories. Upon his death, Laura is shocked to learn that Anthony has left her his estate--with conditions. Laura must try to reunite the lost objects with their rightful owners--a daunting task. After moving in, Laura befriends the gardener and a lonely neighbor who not only help her find the owners, but more importantly, find herself. This is a beautiful story about love, loss and friendship. I really enjoyed the writing--as it comes full circle. Every character has some connection to Anthony that in the end is very satisfying. It's about 275 pages--a 4 mile run--that I truly enjoyed and think you will too.Wednesday, October 3, 2018
October 3, 2018 ROCK BOTTOM BLUES
The dreaded colonoscopy. YUP. It's the worst thing about turning 50. I know they're a necessary EVIL but really--the indignity of it all. First of all--it DRAGS on for days. Gotta go on something called a LOW RESIDUE DIET and then-- the LIQUID DIET. Remember when you were a kid and thought JELLO was a HUGE TREAT. THINK AGAIN. Not sure if it's changed over the years--or we were just so POOR that ANY FOOD WAS GOOD FOOD. Hell--we probably considered it a fruit TOO!! Sorry--I digressed. Anyways--after almost dying of starvation it's FINALLY time to GUZZLE THE GASOLINE. Believe it or not--this is actually WORSE than sitting on the toilet for hours getting hemorrhoids. NOT KIDDING. IT'S LIKE DRINKING A GALLON OF CHERRY FLAVORED COUGH MEDICINE. I literally almost threw up. IT GETS WORSE--12 hours later--you have to drink another GALLON OF COUGH MEDICINE and SIT YOUR SORE ASS ON THE TOILET AGAIN. By the time you drag your SORRY SELF to the ROTO ROOTER FACTORY-- you don't care who see's your SAGGY ASS--you just want it over!! THE GOOD NEWS-- If ALL goes well--you REPEAT it again in 10 years. YIPPIE. Anthony Peardew, the keeper of lost things, hopes everything goes well for his assistant Laura after he leaves her his estate in Ruth Hogan's The Keeper of Lost Things. As this lovely story begins, Anthony, a famous author of short stories, knows the end is near. He is worried about his collection of lost items which are catalogued and hidden in his mansion called Padua. He has been collecting lost items for over forty years, since the tragic death of his fiancee. This collection actually saved his career as he used the lost items as a springboard for his stories. Upon his death, Laura is shocked to learn that Anthony has left her his estate--with conditions. Laura must try to reunite the lost objects with their rightful owners--a daunting task. After moving in, Laura befriends the gardener and a lonely neighbor who not only help her find the owners, but more importantly, find herself. This is a beautiful story about love, loss and friendship. I really enjoyed the writing--as it comes full circle. Every character has some connection to Anthony that in the end is very satisfying. It's about 275 pages--a 4 mile run--that I truly enjoyed and think you will too.
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