February 18, 2021 HIGH TONE WOMAN

Did you know that the punctuation rules have changed with texting?? Apparently there is TONAL CONFUSION out there and the OLDER generation is to BLAME. I don't know........but in my world THE ELLIPSIS MEANT..........you were switching ideas. TODAY........ the younger generation BELIEVES an ellipsis can be seen as PASSIVE/AGGRESSIVE......like you left something UNSAID. In order to rectify this CONFUSION ---PLEASE USE THE DASH-----It's a safer punctuation mark  because it doesn't carry MULTIPLE MEANINGS.  Apparently--A DASH IS JUST A DASH???  WHO KNEW??? THE PERIOD is also causing all kind of trouble. Again--in my world-- the PERIOD means ONE SIMPLE THING--the end of a sentence. WELL--NO MORE--BE AWARE-THE PERIOD CAN NOW INDICATE AN UNINTENDED SERIOUS TONE. Now I FINALLY understand ALL the run on sentences. I just thought they were lazy.  And be EXTRA careful with  EXCLAMATION POINT TOO!!! Today they are WAY TOO AGGRESSIVE AND CAUSE TONAL CONFUSION.  Is the person HAPPY--YELLING--EXCITED?? Never EVER use an exclamation point in your text UNLESS the other person is using them too!!! GOT IT.......!!!! While I wrap my head around this--I'll tell you a little about Jane Harper's new book The Survivors. One of the things I love about Harper's books is that she uses landscape to set the mood in her stories. In this novel, Harper takes the reader to a small Tasmanian town called Evelyn Bay made famous by the wreck of the S. S. Mary Minerva. As this story unfolds, Kieran Elliot, his girlfriend Mia and baby are headed back to Evelyn Bay to help his parents move. Kieran hasn't been home since a storm twelve years earlier claimed the lives of his brother Finn and friend Toby. Kieran still blames himself for the events that led to their deaths and the guilt has taken its toll.  Within a day of their arrival, the body of a young woman is found dead on the beach. This death opens old wounds from the day of the storm, including the whereabouts of a girl who went missing during the storm. Could the two events be connected even though they are twelve years a part? What really happened on the day of the storm and is Kieran really responsible for his brother's death? Find the answer to these questions and many more when you read this suspense filled thriller.   This book about friendship, family, secrets, and small town life will keep you reading because someone in this sleeping town is a murderer. It's about 380 pages--a 4 mile run--that will keep you guessing til the end. 

February 14, 2021 MY FUNNY VALENTINE

Valentine's Day. It can be A LOT of pressure--especially for NEWBIES. Expectations can be TOO HIGH. Too much time watching THE HALLMARK CHANNEL. And many times--WOMEN ARE JUST DELUSIONAL. Thought I'd spend a little time this morning reading about the absolute WORST VALENTINE GIFTS EVER. Gentlemen--never EVER give your significant other a gift card, coffee mug, e-card, used flowers, jumper cables, hygiene products, socks, re-gifted items, heart-shaped pot holders, kitchen or household products, edible underwear, giant teddy bears, or hair removal systems.  AND NEVER EVER BREAK UP WITH THEM ON VALENTINE'S DAY EITHER. That seems like a NO BRAINER--BUT I actually know people who HAVE LIVED THROUGH THAT  KIND OF HELL. Let's face facts--Valentine's Day is really for WOMEN. MEN DON'T GIVE A CRAP. It's time for you to MAN UP-- a nice, thoughtful card --bouquet of flowers--and dinner. That's all you have to do to make it a great day. If Nora Seed had a valentine, she probably would have chosen a different path in Matt Haig's new book The Midnight Library. As the story unfolds, Nora Seed is a sad sap full of regret. She had such potential--Olympic swimmer, singer in band, intelligent--and she blew it. Nora is a lost soul. She's just lost her job, she's terribly lonely and to top it off, her cat has been killed by a car. Nora has hit rock bottom and decides to end her life, but a funny thing happens --she ends up in The Midnight Library. The Midnight Library is "in between" life and death. It's filled with books each telling a version of Nora's life if she had made different choices. Nora is given the opportunity to use these books as portals--to sample the lives she could have led to help her decide if she really wants to end it all or try one more time. This is an interesting idea but it was a little too simple for me. I did enjoy the premise and the lessons the book affords and encourage you to give the book a try. It's only 300 pages or a 3 mile run that I enjoyed for the most part. 

February 9, 2021 AIN'T THAT A SHAME

Why are there so many people IN THIS WORLD who believe that THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO THEM. I really can't understand this behavior--THAT I SEE ALL THE TIME. This narcissistic outlook--about how the world should work to BENEFIT THEM. These are the people who believe they DESERVE more than other people. WHY? Because they believe that they are ENTITLED FOR SOME REASON. These are the people who don't follow the "Usual Rules" because THE RULES do NOT benefit them. EVEN if the rules benefit society and  social norms. AND they feel NO SENSE OF SHAME ABOUT IT EITHER. BECAUSE They are SPECIAL PEOPLE who deserve SPECIAL PRIVILEDGES. And I'm talking about ADULTS RIGHT NOW. Adults with children who will grow up WITH A SENSE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE AND ENTITLEMENT TOO. They will lack EMPATHY because they will also BELIEVE THAT IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM.  UGH--sorry for this much needed rant. Chief Inspector Gamache faces a few of these idiots in Louise Penny's new installment of the Gamache series All The Devils Are Here. What's exciting about this new book is that it takes place in Paris instead of the usual Three Pines. Although I missed the regular characters, it was fun to be in Paris for a bit. As the novel unfolds, Armand and his wife Reine-Marie are in Paris visiting  family. Their son Daniel and his family have lived in Paris for many years, and Annie and Jean-Guy have recently relocated for his new job. Unfortunately, their holiday is interrupted when Armand's billionaire god-father Stephen Horowitz is deliberately run over and almost killed. Thankfully, Gamache, and his former second-in-command from the Surete du Quebec, Jean-Guy Beauvoir, are there to investigate. What did Horowitz know or discover that made him a target? After a second man is killed  in Horowitz's apartment, it is obvious that the danger is closer than they think and that other members of the Gamache could be the next target. Find out what Horowitz discovered and the secret that stood between Daniel and Gamache  for so many years when you read this suspenseful, mystery for yourself. Penny really has a way of making the reader feel part of the story here with the sights, sounds, and smells of Paris on every page. I enjoyed this 450 page--5 miler--very much, but I'm also glad that the family will return to Three Pines for the next book in the series. 

February 7, 2021 SEXY EYES

 You know how some people get tummy tucks? 

 Well--I'm thinking I need an eye lid tuck?  Seriously. 

What  the HELL happened to my EYE LIDS?? It's a real surgery you know--it's officially called Blepharoplasty or an Upper Eye Lift AND I'm pretty sure I need one. There is so much skin on my eyelids-- that I LITERALLY have to pull my lid down to my chin just to get my eyeliner on. OK--I can handle that BUT by lunch time--BECAUSE I HAVE AN EXTRA EYELID NOW--it has smudged all over my lids and I look like I've been in a fist fight. I can't handle this crap. What am I supposed to do--carry eyeliner around in my back pocket and fix it all day?? So--I've started investigating the surgery. It's been around for a long time AND insurance will pay for it IF IT IS TO IMPROVE VISION LOSS. So--MAYBE  that's REALLY why I can't see. WHO KNEW? FYI-- This procedure is actually one of the most popular forms of plastic surgery in the United States. There are some  side effects I'd have to consider-- bruising--swelling-- double vision BUT what the HELL. My eyes look BRUISED AND SWOLLEN  EVERY DAY. And if I had some temporary DOUBLE VISION--isn't that better than  DOUBLE EYELIDS.  HUM.................While I'm pondering this IMPORTANT decision I'll  tell you about a great book I just finished called Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell. In this beautifully written novel, O'Farrell literally takes a small snippet from Shakespeare's life and uses it as a springboard to write a novel completely different from anything she has written before. Set in England in 1580, a young Latin tutor falls in love with Agnes Hathaway. Although their love is forbidden, the two eventually marry and live adjacent to the groom's family. The Latin tutor ( whom we assume is Shakespeare-although his name is never mentioned) feels inadequate around his family who want him to continue working in the family glove business. After a bout with depression, Shakespeare moves to London while Agnes stays behind to raise their children--two daughters and a son named  Hamnet. While in London, Shakespeare finds his niche acting and writing plays.   The second half of the book focuses on the Black Plague, the tragic death of Hamnet, and the effect his death has on his whole family. This is a story about marriage, sacrifice, grief, and how Shakespeare took that grief and created his longest play Hamlet. I especially loved the ending, but you'll have to read it for yourself to find out what happens. This is a powerful novel that I really enjoyed. Great character development and interesting read. It's about 320 pages or a 4 mile run that you will really enjoy.