March 31, 2017 SLOW DANCING SWAYING TO THE MUSIC

 I LOVE listening to songs from my youth while driving back and forth to work. I guess I'm a bit nostalgic. Anyways, it was about 7:10 a.m. the other day and I was on the road again--half asleep.  I started flipping  through the radio stations and SUDDENLY-- I was back in 8th grade slow dancing in the gym with......I ACTUALLY still remember-- how pathetic! Anyways, I was immediately WIDE AWAKE and belting out "Slow Dancing Swaying to the Music" like I was 14 years old again. Boy did I love that song--  it was THE LAST SONG AT EVERY DANCE--a time to snuggle with your sweetheart. I know it's a cliche but I find myself shaking my head asking  WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE??? I literally haven't heard that song in 35 years. It was wonderful to hear it again but at the same time  bittersweet. The passage of time is something you can't understand until it happens to you. For me,  the radio has become a  constant reminder--sometimes  sad while other times glad.  Today while driving home-- I heard Maxine Nightingale's "Right Back Where We Started From." I  smiled as fond memories of a  mini golf course that blared top 40 hits from the seventies popped into my head. All of a sudden I was holding the golf club singing the song at the top of my lungs--deluding myself into thinking I could actually sing. GOOD TIMES.  The Burgess family from Elizabeth Strout's The Burgess Boys also had good times until a freak accident changed their lives forever.

The Burgess family live in the fictional town of Shirley Falls, Maine. Theirs is a pleasant life until the day their father is tragically killed. Brothers, Bob & Jim, can't wait to leave their hometown  as their family is now oddly famous because of the accident.  The brothers grow up,  become lawyers and live their own lives in New York. Jim is a very successful corporate lawyer while Bob works for legal aid.  Their sister Susan, the remaining sibling and twin to Bob, stays in their hometown. Bob and Jim think they have made peace with the past, but that is put into question when Susan calls seeking their help. Her life is a mess. She divorced, penniless and her son has just been arrested for a highly publicized hate crime. The last thing the Burgess family needs is to be famous in their hometown for something else.  This is the story of a damaged family reconnecting. It's also the story of  family dynamics, learning to let go and move  forward. Find out what ultimately happens to Bob, Jim, Susan and her son Zach when you read this wonderful story.  It's about 350 pages--or a 4 mile run--by a Pulitzer Prize winning author worth reading.

March 29, 2017 SEASONS IN THE SUN

Rain, Rain go away. I know that's really a saying associated with April.....but this March continues it's bipolar behavior. It's been cloudy and rainy for several days NOW and--I just need it to end. It is somewhat warmer but that's all relative when it's 30 degrees out with a NW wind of 15 mph. Add some rain to the mixture at mile 5-- stabbing chards of ice--against my youthful (huh) face. Although it  hurt a little it was also refreshing in a strange way. Running against the elements is a liberating experience REALLY. The human body can withstand most things right-- it's all a mind game. Seriously. Just make the decision to go out there--meet the weather head on--and you will be surprised--Not kidding.  Mother nature does challenge us every season-- it's up to us to meet that challenge. That's the HARD part. Thankfully, I have short term memory loss and can't remember what I did yesterday. It's all good. Speaking of memory, I just finished an interesting book on this very subject called The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes.

Tony Webster is a middle aged, divorced father of one living in London. He is comfortable in his life, gets along well with his ex-wife and daughter. He has no regrets and never really worries over the past. One day he is notified that he's inherited five hundred pounds from his old college girlfriend's mother. She has also left him Adrian's diary--a long dead friend from his school days. Tony is perplexed as he had only met Veronica's mother once and he hasn't seen or heard from Veronica in 40 years. This forces Tony to remember the past. He takes us back to his school days and his memories, as he tries to sort out why he is the recipient of gifts from someone he hardly knew. This book is a reflection on how we remember the past. On what we remember, select to remember or change to suite our purpose. We are in many ways defined by our past, our memories of them and they unconsciously effect the decisions we make everyday.  Anyways, this is an intriguing book--when I finished the last page, I immediately started reading through it again. Find out about Tony's life and why Veronica's mother remembered him in her will when you read this Man Booker Prize winner. It's a short book of about 160 pages--or a 3 mile run--that can be read in a few short hours. Although it's short, it's lessons are long.

March 25, 2017 ROLLER COASTER

Trying to do longer runs every weekend because the Mystic half marathon is only 2 short months away. Ran about 6.5 miles this morning--can't imagine doing another 6.6--but it will come. Hoping to run 7 or so next weekend and keep adding on until I get to 11 or 12 miles. That's the plan. I never run the full 13.1 before the race--I feel like that's a jinx.  If I can run 11 miles and feel OKAY then 13.1 is a no brainer-- at least that's what I tell myself. Running distance is more a mind game than anything else. I usually go through some version of the grief process every time I run a race. I spend the first 3 miles of the race in DENIAL--I can't believe I signed up for this--I'm not doing this-- I really don't feel like doing this!! Then I get ANGRY--when am I ever going to learn-- I am such an idiot--this is the last time, I mean it!!   By mile 5,  I ACCEPT that I  actually  have to hunker down and finish the damn thing. This leads to BARGAINING with myself between miles 8-10. Okay knees, just keep bending, it will be over soon then you can sit down--OR-- don't worry, as soon as you're done you can go to the BEER GARDEN. By mile 11, I'm feeling pretty DEPRESSED--Where's the finish line--did I take a wrong turn--I talk to myself a lot-- and try not to cry. When it's FINALLY over and I learn to live again--usually minus a few toe nails--a few blisters--chafe in places I won't mention--and snap, crackle, and pop knees. I GET over it--forget how hard it was THEN sign up for another RACE. Sound crazy? Almost as crazy as Peter Swanson's thriller from 2014 The Girl with a Clock for a Heart. 

Imagine going off to college and falling in love for the first time. This is what happens to George Foss  and Audrey Beck. As winter break rolls around the two reluctantly part ways to spend the holiday with family. At home, George tries to contact Audrey but she seems to have disappeared.  George goes back to school heartbroken but then learns that  Audrey committed suicide over the break. Upon hearing this news, George sets out to Florida to visit with her family and extend his sympathy. But wait--the photos of the Audrey Beck that George fell in love with are not the same. So starts this roller coaster ride. Where is Audrey Beck??? Flash forward twenty years. George is sitting in his local hangout in Boston---in walks Audrey--asking George for help. Sound intriguing?? George can't resist her even though he smells trouble.  George finds himself in a web of sex, lies, and murder as Audrey is not who she appears to be.  Find out what happens to George, Audrey/Liana/Jane when you read this hard to put down mystery of about 300 pages. This is a real page turner--about a 4 mile run-- so strap yourself in and enjoy the ride.

March 22, 2017 THESE DAYS

 With a NW wind of 26 mph-- it felt like 17 degrees outside SO--I took the day off. Got a run in last night when it was 52 and beautiful so all is well.  The weather changes her mind almost as much as politicians these days--it's a bunch of NEWSPEAK right out of an Orwell novel.  Seriously, Mother nature tempts us to go outside--to trust her as the sun is shining--BE VERY LEERY THOUGH--looks ARE deceiving. Politicians, in their fancy suits, cufflinks and whitened toothy grins, appear trustworthy too right?? The reality is we can't trust a word they say. NOT ONE.  It's hard to live in  the good ole USA these days. DISHEARTENING REALLY. We are the laughing stock of half (probably more) the world. Not sure when Americans became so arrogant, self-absorbed, selfish and ignorant-- I literally find myself shaking my head at least five times a day wishing this BAD dream away. Not sure how a wall will stop terrorist attacks and keep us safe from all the "undesirables" in the world. And who is in charge of making the list of who's to be kept out??  Be careful or you just might find your name on the BLACK list. The leaders of our great nation  are either really DUMB or relying on the fact that the average citizen is.  Is it all smoke and mirrors in an attempt to move their agenda--which is ALL ABOUT MONEY--forward? You decide. As for me, I CAN'T STAND THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF IT ALL. It's gonna be a long four years. Since this blog is about dysfunction, I might as well review one of my favorite dystopian novels of all time Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

Ray Bradbury was seriously  way ahead of his time. He wrote this novel in 1953  before flat screen televisions and ear buds but somehow he knew they would take over our world.  He was a genius.  Anyways, Fahrenheit 451 is regarded as one of Bradbury's greatest novels. It has won several awards and been adapted for both the theatre and screen. It is set in a future American society where books are outlawed. Books are burned in the name of public happiness as they are outdated, confusing, and too much work for the attention span of the public. They would rather watch their "parlor walls". The main character of this novel is Guy Montag, a fireman, in a world where firemen burn books for a living. He seems content with his wife, Mildred, and job until he meets a neighbor named Clarisse McClellan. Clarisse is a free thinker who questions their world and eventually has Montag reevaluating his life. Find out what happens after Montag convinces his wife to read a book--a crime punishable with death. Will they be found out and hunted down?  Will the book say something valuable--perhaps a message that could help society? Find out when you read this great classic. It is only about 160 pages or a 4 mile run that will have you shaking your head at the world Bradbury created--it's not so different from 2017. 

March 19, 2017 BE HAPPY

Expectations. Although I still have HIGH expectations for myself--some of which are a little KOOKY I admit-- I've learned to lower them for others. It was either lower my expectations or be disappointed. Think about it--when you have ZERO expectations--you're always happy.  It's funny how we impose our  expectations on other people--it's really silly because ultimately we make ourselves happy right?? No cake, bouquet of flowers or jewelry can really do that. I used to have this discussion with my running friends. Mother's Day would roll around--NOT sure what we were expecting--but we were all generally disappointed. I guess we imagined a day that revolved completely around us!! Who knows?? Then one year we decided to make a change and it was  THE BEST MOTHER'S DAY EVER. We took off in the morning to run this great race and had a ball because we spent the day doing what we wanted and it was ALL ABOUT US. Expectations are silly--I'm gonna AGAIN blame it on the media. They shove images of perfection down our throats--it's such a farce. Make yourself happy and then everyone else will be happy. This is exactly what Nina Redmond, the main character of Jenny Colgan's new novel succeeds in doing in The Bookshop on the Corner.

First of all, Nina Redmond has my dream job. She is a "literary matchmaker"---she's basically a librarian who loves finding the perfect book for her readers. It's her passion--mine too--hence this blog. Nina is devastated when she loses her job--the library has decided to cut the budget and go digital. Since she loves books, Nina gets this crazy idea to buy a van and transform it into a mobile bookshop. If that's not crazy enough, she decides to move from the big city--away from all she knows-- to a small Scottish village to shlep her wares to the book starved communities. I absolutely loved the village and the community she moved to. The description of the people, landscape, farms, and traditions was so interesting--I actually wanted to get on a plane and attend their Summer Solstice. The Scots really know how to throw a party. I loved her roommate from the UK and all the interesting people she meets along the way. Find out what happens to Nina--will she fall in love with the mysterious man from the train or will it be the Scottish farmer when you read this charming, easy to read book that I thoroughly enjoyed.  It's about 350 pages--an easy 4 mile run--that will warm your heart during the cruel month of March. Enjoy!

March 17, 2017 LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS

Even though it was a bit windy this morning, it was STILL a great day to run. The sun was ablaze and  diamonds DANCED over the surface of the ocean--disappearing with the tide. It really is an amazing site.  After my run, I actually sat on the seawall and watched the show for a bit. The SUN really is a glorious thing--AND-- I am so thankful that I am healthy enough to be out enjoying it. It is interesting how our perspective changes with age. I can still remember all the dumb things I was thankful for when I was younger--mostly material things. Such is youth I guess. These days-- I see things differently--as long as everyone is SAFE, HEALTHY and reasonably HAPPY--EVERYTHING IS OKAY. It really is that simple. When life gets me down-- there's a leak in the pipes dripping through the ceiling so I can't take a shower-- someone steals my cell phone--I get a flat tire on the way to work-- I STOP AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH. I remind myself that these are just little things in the game of life. It will always be something. Then I repeat my mantra--everyone is safe, healthy and happy--EVERYTHING IS OKAY.  I read a memoir last year that really drives this point home called When Breath Becomes Air written by Paul Kalanithi.
Paul Kalanithi was a thirty-six year old neurosurgeon, scientist and writer whose life was cut short when he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor who dealt with the dying, and suddenly almost overnight he became the patient struggling to survive. He tells his story through the eyes of  a trained doctor, scientist and most importantly, through the eyes of a patient. He wrote this book which was published posthumously, because he was plagued with many questions about his own mortality and what was really important in life. Sadly, while Kalanithi fought for his life, his wife Lucy was  pregnant with their first child. Shortly after the birth of their daughter, Kalanithi lost his battle with cancer. This memoir will make you stop  and reevaluate what is really important in life. Kalanithi's memoir is only about 200 pages--or  a 3 mile run. Even though I read it in a few short hours, the lessons I learned will last a lifetime.

March 14, 2016 SUGAR MOUNTAIN

 This jumping ahead business is really too much. Hello people--I  need ALL the sleep I can get. THANKFULLY--we have a snow day today to help ease the pain.  It really does take a good week to get used to the time change though. I like the fact that it stays lighter out longer, but I feel like I'm getting up in the middle of the night. It's a real catch 22. While sleeping in this morning, I started thinking about choices. No, I am not good at making decisions. I mean the choices we make throughout our lives that ultimately define us. We really are the result of all the decisions we have made--BOTH-- good and bad. Our decisions are shaped by the people around us and if we are lucky enough to be surrounded by good, sound people, hopefully the journey is smoother. But many people aren't SO lucky. Their journey is more like climbing Mount Everest ALONE.  I, for one, count myself really lucky to be where I am and who I am today. It wasn't easy. Breaking cycles is  difficult--especially dysfunctional ones--because they are all we know and change is a scary thing. I've come up with a recipe though: a HELL of a lot of  determination, serious self-reflection, SOME intelligence, a pinch of LUCK and a few good choices.  Stephanie Kallos' beautifully written debut novel and National Book Award Winner from 2004 deftly captures this theme in Broken For You.

Meet Margaret Hughes. A 70 year old woman who has just been diagnosed with a "star" tumor--a brain tumor that will end her life. Margaret lives in a beautiful old mansion and refers to her massive collection of antiques as her family. She spends her days conversing with and cleaning antiques that her father acquired during World War II from the Nazis after being stolen from Jewish families. Knowing her time is limited, Margaret decides to change her life and takes in a boarder--Wanda Schultz. Wanda is a young, sad, lonely woman who has just traveled half way across the country in search of her wayward boyfriend. She has been left behind by many men including her father when she was 6. Both women have spent years building walls, harboring secrets and hiding pain. Find out what happens when they become friends and decide to open up--take that risk--to trust and love again. The writing is reminiscent of Dickens or Anne Taylor--with eccentric but lovable characters that will remain in your heart long after finishing the book--which you really won't want to see end. It's one of those wonderful stories that you will want to savor. Its about 380 pages or a 5 mile run that I will definitely read again.

March 12, 2017 TAXI

Decisions. I usually have a hard time making them--but thanks to the-- BONE-CHILLING-COLD--it was a NO BRAINER  to go to the gym this morning. I would have been completely out of my mind to run outside. But seriously, those are the only decisions I'm capable of making at this point in my life. Maybe it's due to the fact that I've had to make decisions for so long that my head is spinning--ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND--all the time. I can't take it anymore--my brain CANNOT process another thing.  Don't think I make decisions about important things either--just the simple things:  What's for dinner? How come we're having that again?? What movie do you want to watch tonight?   I DON'T KNOW--is usually the standard answer because I JUST CAN'T WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT ANYMORE. I know it's really frustrating to be  around someone so WISHY WASHY and CONFUSED  all the time but I just can't help it. My brain has finally turned to MUSH--from  years of use and abuse. For some strange reason, the main character from W. Somerset Maugham's wonderful classic The Razor's Edge reminds me of me as he is confused and feels lost after his experience in the war.
First of all, Maugham is up there on my list of favorite writers. His writing is impeccable and his understanding of the human condition-- second to none. I have read several of his books and LOVE them all.  Anyways, The Razor's Edge is set in the aftermath of World War I mostly between Chicago, Paris and London. It's the story of five friends who meet intermittently before and after the war who are shaped by their experience or lack of experience in WWI. Larry Darrell, the main character, is an American pilot wounded and traumatized by the war. After the war, he returns home to Chicago where his fiancee, Isabel, eagerly waits for him. The problem is that Larry has changed. He delays his marriage-- rejects his fiancee and materialistic friends--and moves to Paris to live off of his inheritance.  Isabel  eventually visits him and he asks her to stay and live the bohemian life. Even though she loves Larry, she refuses because money and social standing are more important.  She goes back to Chicago and  marries Larry's friend--a millionaire stockbroker named Gray. Elliot Templeton, Isabel's uncle,  is another interesting character in the story--kind, rich and only interested in his place in Parisian  society. After the stock market crash, Guy loses all his money and they are forced to move to Paris to live with Uncle Elliot. In Paris, Guy and Isabel  meet up with Larry again. They also meet up with Sophie, a friend from Chicago, now living in Europe. Sophie, once happily married, is addicted to drugs after the accidental death of her husband and child. Find out what happens to this odd assortment of friends when you read this wonderful novel. I'll give you a hint--they all get what that originally wanted --good and bad--in the end.  This book is about 300 pages or a 5 mile run that will not only entertain you--you might even learn some lessons about life that you will never forget.

March 9, 2017 STILL THE ONE

Got through 5 LONG MILES on the treadmill the other day--with a little help from a friend. After forcing myself to go to the gym, I stumbled across the floor--half asleep and disheveled-- to the treadmill--and spotted a FRIEND. WHEW! What a relief. Running on a machine is really BORING and having a friend to chat with really helps the time pass more quickly. Friends always make everything in life easier.  Not even sure if I would still be running  if it weren't for the encouragement of my comrades and all the positive people I meet on the streets and at the gym. Running, working out or whatever you do to stay in shape takes real COMMITMENT-- that's why so many people fall off the wagon. It really has to become part of your regular schedule-- like any other appointment. I have it fixed in my brain--I HAVE--to find 4 days to run every week and I really try to plan those days out before the week starts. I find that's when I'm most successful.  If I know the schedule ahead of time it keeps me on track. NO EXCUSES. Even if it doesn't work out for a particular reason,  I WILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN the next day. Stop and think about --ALL the time we waste doing ridiculous things--usually for someone else--Then REMEMBER TO carve out time doing one thing that's all about you.  I RUN. Talk about commitment, I just finished a great book about an inspirational woman called Notorious RBG: The Life and Times of Ruth Bader Ginsburg by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik.

First of all, it must be noted that the idea for this book is the result of Knizhnik's creation--Notorious RBG TUMBLR which is a tribute to RBG and Carmon, a national reporter for MSNBC. It is an interesting, informative and  at times laugh-out-loud peek into RBG's life and work--complete with  photos and interesting antedotes. RBG is quite a woman. She has dedicated her life to seeking justice for several causes including feminist rights, family rights, same-sex marriage just to name a few. She is committed to women and all underrepresented people and works tirelessly as a Supreme Court justice--but that's only one part of who she is. She is also a woman who was married for almost 60 years to her best friend Martin. She is also a mother of two,  and surviver of cancer. This book is a hodge podge of interesting information about RBG. One chapter is dedicated to her workout routine--I'm pretty sure she can do 20 push ups. Another chapter is dedicated to the many lessons she has learned during her life--I loved that part. There is even a section dedicated to her husband's favorite recipe--after all he was the cook in their unorthodox family! This is an important book not only for women but all people as she is a role model we can all learn from. It's about 200 pages total--with lots of great pictures--or a 4 mile run--that you won't regret reading for a minute.

March 4, 2017 DON'T BE CRUEL

OMG!!! Have I ever mentioned that I HATE March. I know that's a strong statement but it's true. EVERY year it's the same thing--survive the DREADED February--and get tricked into thinking it's almost spring--next weekend we actually SPRING AHEAD. It's all a BIG FAT LIE THOUGH--and  the weather this weekend is the testimony. This morning it was 18 degrees--with a WNW wind of 15 mph--making it feel like about 5 degrees. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!  Had the usual debate--run outside or go to the gym. Called my comrade and we opted to take our chances with mother nature--even though my comrade has a serious WIND PHOBIA. It was seriously cold but we survived with only one extra wrinkle and seriously chapped lips. DITTO for tomorrow's weather. It's times like this that I have to work REALLY hard to be POSITIVE--channel all of my  energy--kind of like a seance. Remember Ouija boards--we would light candles, shut off the lights, connect with spirits and scare each other to death. GOOD TIMES. I might have to dust that old board out and wish March away  if this weather doesn't change soon because it really is the cruelest month.  This reminds me of the Chief Inspector Gamache Mystery I just finished reading of the same name.

A while back,  I wrote about Louise Penny the author of this mystery book series. I am loving them and have made it my mission to read all 12 books. I just finished reading the third mystery called The Cruelest Month. In this mystery, the tiny village of Three Pines is entering the Easter season after a long winter that just won't end-- when a psychic visits the inn. Bored with the relentless winter, the townspeople convince the psychic to hold a seance at the old Hadley House on the hill-- reputed as a house of evil and death. They want to rid the town of evil spirits and what better way than to host the seance at the home where a murder was recently committed right? As the villagers gather in the home and the seance gets underway, one of the villagers apparently dies of "fright"........ or is it murder??? Chief inspector Gamache is called upon to investigate the tragedy. He brings his team back to Three Pines where he sees old friends and tries to solve the mystery.  This story is much more complex than it appears as  Gamache has his own "evils" to confront involving a dear old friend and two new agents who seem less than honest. There's something for everyone in this story including  treachery, love, revenge and regret. Every book  is well written and sprinkled with poetic lines here and there to add to the mystery.  I love all the villagers from Three Pines too. They are unique and interesting characters that  I would be happy to meet. Every time I read one of the novels I'm glad to be back in Three Pines. If you like a good mystery than pick up this hard to put down book of about 300 pages--or a 5 mile run--that you will thoroughly enjoy.

March 1, 2017 DECEMBER 1963 OH, WHAT A NIGHT

Ran 40 miles over February vacation. CRAZY--I know-- it was sort of a relief to go back to work-- just to give my legs a rest. I'm not used to running EVERY day--so they were screaming for a break. Back to the old routine though--the whole rigamarole--it is what it is--bills to pay yada yada yada.  So today I didn't get out for a run until about 5:30--I not only had to WORRY about stranger danger but something even scarier--COYOTES. They are getting really bold these days-- actually wandering down the middle of the road like a cowboy in an old western. Some of them are REALLY big too--the size of a horse--OR-- maybe that's just my vision going. I really can't see a damn thing anymore--especially--at dusk WHEN it's really foggy out. I can't tell the difference between a telephone pole and a person either.  I think I just ran by a good friend and DIDN'T recognize her. She must really think I have issues. How pathetic. This aging thing......I'm pretty sure I used to be all that--back in the day. Speaking of back in the day, I just finished up Wally Lamb's new book I'll Take You There where the main character, Felix Funicello, is taken back to his childhood by ghosts of the past at the Garde Theater in New London.

Not sure if you read Lamb's Wishin and a Hopin a few years ago, but if you did then you are in for a treat as Felix is now an adult of 60 who happens to be a film scholar. He lives in Norwich but comes to New London every week to use the Garde Theater for his Monday night movie club. One evening while he is setting up his film, Felix is visited by the ghost of Lois Weber, a motion picture director from the silent film era. Lois has old films of Felix's childhood  and offers to let Felix revisit his past because he is "redeemable".  Lois even allows Felix to actually  enter the films to relive his past on the big screen too. This reflection back to the past allows Felix to learn more about his two sisters, Simone and Frances, as well as understand his mother in new ways as a family secret is finally exposed. This is definitely a blast back to the past as Felix takes us back to Norwich, McKinley Avenue, the Midtown Theater, Mr. Bigs and the Miss Rheingold beauty contest sponsored by a Brooklyn-based beer company. Throughout his travels, Felix reevaluates feminine ideals of the past and examines how they collide with the realities that women face today and  in every generation. This is a light read for the Wally Lamb fan. I actually read it in a day or two. Although it's not the usual Lamb fare,  it was a fun read and it was interesting to read about Felix and his family again. It's about 250 pages or a 3 mile run that will have you reminiscing about the good ole days.