May 16, 2017 I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW

Perception. It's funny how we see things. Mine is different from yours--even if we witness the SAME event--our retellings would probably be very different. As a left-handed person--I have always felt as if I were looking in from the wrong direction. I've often wanted to say--HELLO--have you seen it from MY  window??  Maybe it's not as logical--but that doesn't make it any less valid.  Does that make sense?  I've always seen things differently--not saying I'm right or wrong--it just is what it is.  That's why I've developed two trains of thought on most things. What I think--AND--what everybody else thinks. Pretty sure that explains why I'm so wishy-washy all the time. Right now I'm contemplating something very important-- should I taper off before the race this weekend or just stick to my regular schedule.  Elite runners differ on this VERY touchy subject. NO idea what I should do. Simple things confuse me to death-- SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?? I don't know. Guess I'll try to run an easy 4 just to get outside --want to save IT so I'll feel psyched UP--for the half-marathon this Sunday.  NOT THAT ANYTHING WILL PSYCHE ME UP--EXCEPT POSSIBLY THE FINISH LINE!! Seriously though, this whole idea of how we perceive things and remember things  really intrigues me. It is a major theme in  Dan Chaon's new thriller Ill Will--already a National Best seller--and it was just released.

What do a mass murder from 1983, a string of present day serial killings and a a crack house have in common?? More than you think . Dustin Tillman, the main character of this haunting tale,  is a psychiatrist living in Cleveland. He has a seemingly normal life--two sons and a wife who is struggling with cancer. Tillman's life spirals out of control after his wife loses her battle. On top of that, Dustin also learns that his adopted brother, who has been in prison for 30 years for the massacre of his family, is being released--an exonerated. Dustin is forced to remember the past and question his original testimony.   Did Rusty really kill his family or has his memory failed him? Dustin's favorite mantra for his patients--"We are always telling stories to ourselves, about ourselves"-takes on new meaning  as Dustin begins to wonder if maybe he killed his own family. Maybe  he invented his memories?? While  Dustin's world is seemly falling apart--one son won't speak to him and the other is dabbling in heroin, a new patient enters his life. Against his better judgment, the two become friends and start to investigate a string of serial killings in the area. Told in classic Chaon style, the point of view flips between 3 characters, the years jump back and forth, and the writing is flawless. By the end of the story, all the characters and plots come together--and the mystery is revealed. Chaon's book requires that the reader piece the story together though. He is not going to make it easy--which adds to the fun of reading this 460 page book. It is a bit of a commitment--about a 6 mile run--that will leave saying WOW!